FootprintsintheWind.com

Take Flowers: A friend of mine has a secret for getting good care for her uncle at the nursing home and hospital: she takes flowers and says “Thank you” to the staff who are helping her uncle. She takes cookies every once in a while, and puts them out at the nurse’s station, with a thank you note “From the family of….”

Another friend got a birthday cake from the best local bakery, decorated with “Thanks to Mary, Suzie, Bill, Danny for getting Mom to her 92nd birthday!”

Be inventive. Find ways to recognize good caring people. Especially to their bosses.

:- Doug.

Take Names: When you are advocating for your Dad at the nursing home or doctor’s office, get personal. Find out the names of the people who are providing care.

Not to know whom to sue or complain about, but to be human, to put a human face on Dad and you and them.

Not just the doctors: the nurses, the aides, even the person who mops the floors. All are providing care for your family, all know things you don’t, and all have some ways to help that can surprise you.

Use their names when you speak with them. Write them down so you remember.

As Ira Byock says in The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life, “Befriend them if possible. Tell them about your father—what name he likes to be called, what he did for work, what he loves most in life—and bring in pictures of your father in his prime. Let them know you appreciate their care, and thank them for things they do to engage and pamper your father.”

:- Doug.