FootprintsintheWind.com

Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1320

Maybe the Boston Marathon bombings teach us to be caring for each other—before something can happen. Be observant. Report suspicious things. But more than that: be kind to strangers, the other, the disaffected. Kindness of strangers might take someone off the path to terrorism—or get them psychological help when needed. A kind voice, an openness to hear, an observant heart willing to act—who can tell their power?

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1319

What of the role of the family and others who love the dying person? Are they merely empty conduits for the carrying of information? How can we love our families in the ways we choose to die?

Should we for instance take into account the different, maybe violently different or extreme, views of other family members? How do we reconcile differences?

Do we take the lead and do the work of eldering and loving and tell our story close in? Do we talk about our desires to receive and give forgiveness, about thanking, saying goodbyes, giving our soul substance, saying I love you in many ways? Does this bring us together? What brings families together? Stories and memories and heart things, invitation. Speaking of pain and seeing suffering and listening to one another.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1318

Related are we

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1317

We should honor our insights but also our pain and even our despair for our world. Avoiding, running away from our pain and despair, is doing us no good. If we look with long-view eyes, wise eyes, elders’ eyes, perhaps some of us will see some things we can do. That is better than doing nothing, or continuing to contribute to the problems.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1316

Settle, settle in, be in the spirit, the flows, the swirls, the still crisp waters where beings large and small gather and drink.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1315

We cannot alone hope to make
the decisive move
The tragedies humans are
bringing our way
are too entangled
We can but write a word,
plant a tree,
start a conversation
We have lost the right to hope
for an outcome
Now we must hope
with a new quality

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1314

In inviting
and freeing
and calling home
the One says
Let there be inclusivity
and dreaming big dreams
give to all sustenance
tomorrows without debt
worlds of whole-making conversing
for this is a
fertile can-do-dom
powerful loving
and glorious singing
from gathering to loosening!

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1313

The hope you seek is for a particular outcome. This we are not often granted, and then only as it seems by chance. Abandon hope all who enter life. Your boon can only be in sweat, with others, with neither reward nor result. Another will harvest what you will not. Do what you can to make it good.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1312

Nelson Mandela started his biggest conversation, the one that ended Apartheid, while in solitary confinement. What conversation can we start, given our life condition? What higher purpose do we own that will get us beyond our walls?

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1311

The case of Lorraine Bayless is a perfect example: an 87 year old for whom no CPR was given holds a mirror up for us of the complexity of our end of life. We have a 75% idea about CPR (the real number is closer to 17%—for a healthy person.) Why do doctors do more for patients than they do for themselves? Because they might be sued? Why? Because in our society we think everyone can be saved and should be? Why? Always ask Why again. Because we cannot accept death? Because we cannot let go? Because we want someone to blame? Because we are angry? There are probably 101 reasons, all interwoven and tangled. This is the definition of complex. But hear this quite clearly: we do it to ourselves. We are the ones driving this. There is no one else. If we have a lot of bad deaths in our society, it’s up to us to fix it.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1310

When our eyes meet—
When our ears meet—
Passes between us humanity
& here might be our highest value

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1309

We dissolve in conversation
Caterpillar in chrysalis
On the other side to emerge

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1308

We are whole
as we sit here
Will we be enough?
This we test
if we but up and
throw ourselves in

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1307

The sky invites us up & out
So for this reason is
A good place to see divinity
The ground is what holds us
& that from which we spring
& to which we return again home
So for this reason
A good place to see divinity
Our skin embraces us
So for this reason
A good place to see divinity

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1306

Most problems I have found to have a beginning, a muddle and and end. As a society we seem to be in the muddle of figuring out how we live together in a densely packed pluralistic grouping. Recently we have seen political battles resolve into calcified screaming matches. Some day we will figure how to be softer, gentler, and more humane to one another. We might even dare to become vulnerable.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1305

Shot through you are
with divinity capable of meeting
& being met I must
remember when I
see you 

	The surprise
for me is
I am shot through
with God!

	We begin
to see when we realize
our very vulnerability
our need for love
and help is God
coming visible

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1304

Home is where the work is.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1303

Stay Put: What do you do when the doctor rushes out and you did not have a chance to ask all your questions? Ira Byock, in his latest book, The Best Care Possible: A Physician’s Quest to Transform Care Through the End of Life says “If the doctor is rushed and leaves the exam room before answering these basic questions, stay put. They need the room and someone will come back to speak with you. If someone in the office gets annoyed, you needn’t raise your voice. If you wish, you have my permission to blame me. Tell them Dr. Byock said it would be unsafe to leave the office before clearly understanding these basic parts of the doctor’s plan for your mother’s care.”

Stay put. Good advice. Unsafe to leave: even better advice. So many people, my mother in law among them, are afraid to question the doctor and other medical staff: if I anger them then what will they do to my husband?

But the fact is most people want to give good care. They are harried by the pressure of modern medical business which says you must see 20 people a day, you must keep moving.

So it is up to you to keep your mother safe. If you are confused, muddling through cannot be good for either of you. Nor safe.

Byock’s advocacy mantra is “Be informed, prepared, polite, and persistent.” Polite and persistent. Sounds almost Zen: Don’t just go and do: stay put. But it is practical. And safe.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1302

Close not your prayer
Rise and walk
Within it

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1301

Sitting in the mess
Not stirring
Might let the water clear

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1300

How would we recognize family when we saw it? What gets in the way of it? What makes ready for it? For we can only ever really make ready. Make ourselves ready, open the space, invite. But grace is ever present and favors a prepared soul, a prepared between.

What would be a prepared between? Emptying ourselves of what the conversation should accomplish, or even be. Emptying ourselves of shields, of ideas of who starts the conversation, or where it leads. Emptying ourselves of our selves.

Stepping into the between. Choosing to accept any and all offers and invitations. Choosing to be vulnerable. Choosing to let go of outcomes.

Valuing being together. Valuing whatever happens. Valuing whoever comes and whoever stays away.

Resolving (and renewing our resolve) to stay for as long as it takes, and not a moment longer.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1299

Our right work is each other.

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Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1298

Let us use phrases like too early—so far—not yet. It is compassionate. It says there is more good to come, more good for us to find. Together.

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