FootprintsintheWind.com

We are still in the information age—we think more information will solve all.

:- Doug.

Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1474

Let’s keep to the funamentals.

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© c 2014, Learning Works, Incorporated. All rights reserved. Easy reprint permissions: 574/291-0022, or by e-mail to mailto:Footprints AT FootprintsInTheWind.com. Back issues available at http://www.FootprintsintheWind.com

We now have the choice of what kind of death we want, although we haven’t yet realized it. This fact that there are few acute diseases anymore, that the trajectory is a long tail, gives us these choices. But we as a culture have not talked together about this. In fact the old taboo prevents our reflection, a taboo that no longer fits our facts of life and death.

:- Doug.

I am worried. Words that fit for a client for whom I have had a call this morning. I am worried she is in extremis. These words both fit and are fit for our conference. I think from what I am hearing that we are in the end times for this client. Obviously I cannot make a medical determination. But can this client climb the hill much further?

:- Doug.

Conversation is not in the Yeses and Noes, but also in the nuances of colors.

:- Doug.

How will we know when to stop fighting for time and start meaningful living?

:- Doug.

What would it be OK to endure: pain, living in bed, being done for?

:- Doug.

What level of being alive is tolerable to you? What is being alive?

:- Doug.

How do you want to spend your time if your health worsens? If there were only a 50% chance of getting out of bed? 25%? 10%?

:- Doug.

Talking heals.

:- Doug.

How do we know when to get out the 17 Things (that is, how do we know when we might be dying)? The progress of the disease (1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or end stage)? When the chance of cure is down to what per cent? When the third course of chemo stops working? When we become frail? When we become dependent? When we have how many days left? When the chance of debilitating side effects is what?

:- Doug.

Last words: write a few for a favorite comedian or cartoon character. Then write some for yourself.

:- Doug.

Ars moriendi: Art of the ends

:- Doug.

I have read some things, thought some things you have not. I can help.

:- Doug.

How can we make end of life fulfilling, healing?

:- Doug.

The butterfly flies and dies
falls and disintegrates
smaller insects feast and eliminate
earth is rejuvenated
plants flourish and provide food
we eat, we procreate,
we die, after the butterfly
wheels within wheels
death but an arbitrary point
life is immortal
we but carriers

:- Doug.

Do you picture yourself again running a marathon, walking the entire grocery store, babysitting the grandchildren for a week? What is your most realistic recovery?

:- Doug.

Don’t make your doctor your enemy—enlist your doctor to do what you want.

:- Doug.

Footprints in the Wind^sm # 1473

Let me say to you, sir or ma’am
this thing that you don’t like
the beeps and bustle all about
the groans all within
knowing not what we mean
when on and on we say “do everything”
the way the doctors treat on and on
and never let us rest
this thing I see you do not like
is no one’s doing but your very own
the culture you with us have cultivated
all around is torture, torture
and no where near a gentle hand
nor ear to hear our life complete
it’s doing is ours—yours and mine
and yours again—
and so too its possible undoing—shall we?
nor ear to hear our life complete
our life complete—

Please pass it on.

© c 2014, Learning Works, Incorporated. All rights reserved. Easy reprint permissions: 574/291-0022, or by e-mail to mailto:Footprints AT FootprintsInTheWind.com. Back issues available at http://www.FootprintsintheWind.com

You are influential people. You are people. Therefore you are influential. I authorize you to use your influence.

:- Doug.

Death happens
Get ready

:- Doug.

I have come to some framework for thinking about the end of life conversation: 1. we don’t know when death is approaching; 2. we never anymore reach the point of nothing more we can do; 3. having the conversation reduces suffering (for individual and family), costs, and increases life, gentleness, and healing in dying.

:- Doug.

We are so unconscious about the words we use, we mostly don’t know what we’ve said, nor how the words have chosen the path of our thinking.

:- Doug.