Footprints in the Windsm # 1423–Befriending Mom: beyond ADLs and IADLs

Footprints in the Windsm # 1423

Truth: You’ve heard of ADLs and maybe IADLs; let’s look beyond. Activities of Daily Living refer to bathing, dressing, eating, and the like—the basic stuff of life. This is what the ancients called Truth: can you do the self care most adults do? Instrumental Activities of Daily Living are about living independently: shopping, housekeeping, managing money, telephoning. These point us to the next level, but are not there yet.

Goodness: The next level are Pleasurable Activities of Daily Living (PADLs), or what the ancients might have called Goodness. A friend took Dad to his favorite barbershop so he could chew the fat with his old buddies, accompanied him to the ball game to holler for the home team, helped him shop for favorite foods. These are things that bring us the pleasurable sense of Here I belong, I am understood.

Beauty: The deepest level of these is MADLs—Meaning Activities of Daily Living. Here we encounter the ancients’ Beauty. What was the meaning of my life? Of whom must I ask forgiveness, whom do I forgive, whom thank, to whom say I love you? To whom and what in my life do I want to say good-bye? How do I bring completion to my relationships with community, friends, family? Can I love myself? Can I accept my worthiness? Can I accept the finality of my life? What to me is the meaning of death? What will it take for me to let go? This is beauty because it is the completion and wholeness of life.

The living have work to do right up to the very end. If you can help someone, or give them permission, to attend all three levels, you will have done for them—and yourself—a true, good and beautiful thing.


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Published in: FootprintsintheWind/sm | on May 17th, 2014 | 2 Comments »

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2 Comments Leave a comment.

  1. On May 17, 2014 at 5:35 pm Bernie DeKoven Said:

    “The living have work to do right up to the very end.” Work to do. Celebrations to share. Laughter to share. Joy to share. Wisdom to share. Love to share. Yes, o, yes. Deeply touching, deeply wise. Thank you for this.

  2. On May 17, 2014 at 6:15 pm doug Said:

    Thank you, Bernie. Deep bow to you.

    :- Doug.

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